One minute
by Rhyme or Reason
Summary: Neil's mum for once, in Neil's life, stood up to his father. Neil stayed and Helton, he did not commit suicide. But what happened once he got his second chance? Neil/Todd.
1. Goodnight and go

**A/N**- Ok, well in this fic Neils mum stands up to Neils father so Neil stays at Helton and doesn't comit suicide. I haven't read any other fic that has this happen so I'm excited!! Either I'm just so smart or it's a really crap idea. Anywho I'm hoping to make the next chapter longer, but you'll just have to wait and see, it all depends on how boring Drama and Religious Studies are. And if any of you review could you please answer/help me on a few points? One: Do you think Meeks and Charlie should be together in this fic? This is already a Todd/Neil but you can never get enough slash. Two: what is it? YAWP, YARP, YUWP, YAUWP or what? Three: Poetry, could you please tell me a really good poem that I could use, you'll understand at the end of the chapter, otherwise I'll have to write a poem, and though I have written a few they're no good or wouldn't suit it.

**Disclaimer-** I don't own 'The Dead Poets Society', any of the characters (so far), the Chap. title which is the name of a song by Imogen Heaps (I think), it's ok, but one of the verses sounds a bit stalkerish/perverted.

* * *

"No John! I will not have my boy sent off for ten whole years! He will go back to Welton or so help me I will leave right now and take Neil with me and neither of us will see you ever again, don't you think that I won't!"

Neil watched the on going fight with wide eyes; he couldn't believe what his mum was doing. For once, in Neil's life, she was standing up for herself, for him. Maybe he wouldn't be going off to military school after all.

"Sarah! Look, I'm just thinking about what's good for Neil. He has a far better chance of becoming a doctor than an actor. He doesn't have a chance of taking this acting business anywhere!"

Neil started getting angry at that; he could go far with this 'acting business'! But he thought it best not to say anything and just see how the argument went.

"Did you even watch Neil when you were there? He got the lead part, my friends have been calling up to say how well he did, that they know some other plays that he could star in. Marcy said that she wouldn't be surprised if he became the most famous actor the World has ever seen!" Though Neil know that Marcy had been exaggerating he couldn't help but feel proud of himself.

"It's entirely a matter of chance; this might have just been beginners luck! What if he doesn't get another part and he wastes all his time acting so that has nothing to fall back on?!"

"No John! Neil said he loves acting; his grades haven't dropped at all, not even by even one mark, if anything they've gotten better! If this continues he could keep up this 'acting business' and study to become a doctor at the same time. He's happier now than I've ever seen him before and I will not have you taking this away from him!"

"Sarah, please-"

"No John, tell Neil that he can stay at Welton and that he can keep acting or I'm leaving right now!"

"But, I…" John sighed and Neil hoped this meant he was giving in, "I can't fight with you Sarah. Neil you can go back to Welton and continue with this acting business of yours, as long as your grades stay the same and you put a lot of effort into your school work."

"Thank you father." He said, shaking his hand formally. When his father left immediately after he ran over to his mum and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Thank you so, so much!" Neil said into her shoulder as she started to cry.

"It's alright Neil; I could never have let you go, not for ten whole years. Now why don't you go back to school and tell all your friends that you're staying. I'm sure they're all worried about you by now."

"Can you drive me there, please?"

"Sure, come on. Before your father comes back and changes his mind."

The drive to Welton passed in silence, Neil deep in his thoughts, thinking about how lucky he was and how glad all the guys would be that he was staying, especially Todd. When they pulled up outside the school and he was about to get out, his mum finally spoke.

"Have a good time at school, I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too. Thanks for everything mum, and I really will try to keep my grades up." Neil said, meaning it.

"You see that you do."

"Bye mum." He said, climbing out of the car.

"Bye son."

Neil closed the car door and his mum drove off, leaving him alone to finally express how happy he really was.

"YUWP!"

He yelled at the top of his lungs, staring up at the sky, and with the hugest smile he practically skipped off into Helton. He paused in the hall for a moment, wondering who he should tell first. Though Todd immediately came to mind he decided to go tell Mr. Keating first, he was the one who he had gone to before and was probably just as worried as everyone else. When he did reach his office he waited outside for a minute when he heard voices coming through the door, but when he recognised the voices as Charlie's, Knox's, and other members of the Dead Poets Society's he walked right in.

"Hi everyone." He said when no one noticed him enter.

"Neill!" They all said, looking around on hearing his voice.

"What happened, did you tell him?" Mr. Keating asked, getting up to move over to Neill.

"I tried to, but my dad cut me off and started yelling at me," he started laughing nervously, "He wanted to send me away to military school."

"He can't do that!" Knox said.

"He isn't, my mum threatened to leave and take me with her. All I have to do is keep my grades up. I'm staying." By the time he'd finished they had already started cheering, all of them happy that he wasn't being sent away or any of the other things they had thought about before he had came back.

"I know you have it in you, you're a Dead Poet! You were wonderful, the best Puck I've ever seen!" Mr. Keating said, clapping him on the back.

"Thank you sir! Where's Todd?" He said, looking around the room and finding him no where.

"Never mind about that now, let's celebrate! So you're staying then, Helton would have seemed lonely without you." Charlie said with teasing sarcasm, hiding how excited he was by lighting a cigarette and starting to smoke. Neil was able to tell that this was Charlie's way of saying he was glad he was staying.

"Boys, I think this calls for some poetry, but unfortunately it's late and Charlie, if anyone caught you smoking in here I'd be out of a job and then you would all miss out on the wonders of my classroom and wisdom."

"Ay captain." Charlie said as he and the rest of the guys, except Neil, walked out of the room and made their way back to their rooms. When everyone had left and he was alone with Keating, he spoke.

"Thanks again captain, for your advice before."

"No problem, it was my pleasure."

After a moment of comfortable silence Neil walked out, he was surprised to find Charlie waiting for him, leaning against the wall, still smoking.

"What do you want Charlie?"

"It's Nuwanda, and I thought you might want to know where Todd is." He said, pushing off the wall with a slight smirk.

"Well, where is he?" Neil asked, worried that something might have happened to him, but then he relised if anything had happened he would have already been told and Charlie wouldn't have been smirking, for once in his life.

"He went straight to your room, I heard him crying inside when I went to ask him if he wanted to wait for you with the rest of us. I told everyone else he had fallen asleep."

"Why was he crying?" Neil ask, confused, which only made Charlie's smirk wider.

"What do you think Neil? He was crying over the love of his life being taken away from him. He was crying over you Neil!"

"He was?" He ignored the 'love of his life' comment.

"Yea, what are you going to do about it?"

"Go talk to him?"

"Yes, run off to your lover. Comfort the fair, young, maiden." Though Neil knew he was just joking it was starting to annoy him that Charlie kept referring to Todd as a girl.

"Todd is not a fair maiden Charlie."

"Ok, it was just a joke, calm down princess." He chose to ignore the princess comment as well.

"Alright, well see you latter. Don't let Nolan catch you smoking."

"I never do wonder boy. Night."

Neil watched as Charlie made his way down the hall, in the opposite direction to their rooms, curious as he was Neil thought it best not to ask him where he was going. After all if Neil had Cameron as a room mate he wouldn't go back to his room until he absolutely had to. Instead he made his own way back to his room, wondering what he would find waiting for him there, if Todd would still be crying or if he had fallen asleep by now. He didn't know what would be worse, seeing him crying because of him, or finding him asleep and not being able to tell him he was staying. Obviously he could wake him up but Neil had tried doing that before when he was bored one night and he hadn't been able to, he just looked so peaceful that he couldn't bear to wake him up. When he reached their room he pressed his ear against the door and didn't hear anything so he figured that Todd had fallen asleep after all. He opened the door as quietly as he could, closed it, then turned back around.

"Oh My Gosh Todd!" Neil almost yelled, jumping up in shock we he saw Todd sitting at his desk writing. Todd turned around and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Neil, I thought you weren't coming back!" He jumped up, then quickly turned over the piece of paper he had been writing on, remembering what he had written.

"So did I! I thought I was going to be shipped off to military school like my dad wanted, but then my mum stood up and said no, it was unbelievable! Anyway that doesn't matter now, all that matters is that I can keep acting and you've stopped crying!" He said in a theatrical voice while Todd looked confused.

"How did you know I had been crying?" He asked worriedly.

"Charlie heard you, but don't fear I'm not leaving you any time soon!" Neil said with a laugh. Todd walked over to his bed and got in.

"Good, otherwise I would have died."

"Died? Why would you have died?" Neil asked. Slowly, so Todd wouldn't notice before it was too late, he started making way over to the desk where Todd had left his turned over piece of paper. Unlike Todd thought, Neil had seen the way he tried to hide it and was wondering what Todd had been writing that he didn't want him to see.

"Boredom." Todd answered; he hadn't noticed that Neil was now only about a foot away from desk.

"You would still have had Captain, and the Dead Poets meetings." Neil pointed out, now only fifteen centimeters away.

"Yes, but without you Neil, how could I go on?" He said sarcastically, pretending to faint. Five centimeters away.

"Ah yes. I hadn't though of that." And then, swoop! Neil grabbed the paper as fast as he could. Todd jumped up in surprise and fear.

"No Neil, that's mine, give it back!"

"But it's poetry!"

"So? I don't want you to see it, its crap." Todd tried to make a grab for it but Neil jumped away, trying to read it.

"You say that about all your poetry; now stop trying to grab it so I can read it in peace!"

"Don't!" Todd almost yelled, getting frantic. Neil read bits and pieces when he could, it wasn't easy. Neil froze when he was done; Todd snatched it out of his hands.

"I told you it wasn't any good." Todd whispered, staring at his feet, suddenly feeling like he used to before he'd heard of Carpe Diem.

"It was, very good." Neil said after a while, pulling the poem back out of Todd's hands. Todd just let him, still staring at the ground like it held the answer to the meaning of life. Not that it would do him much good because after this he was sure he'd be killed, either of embarrassment or by getting beaten up. Neil read it through again; just to make sure he'd read it correctly. He had, he read it over and over again, not knowing what else he could do.

"Neil…"


	2. Come right out and say it

**Changes have been make toward the end**

**A/N- **Sorry for the longish wait but I've been very busy and I'm really trying to spend less time on FanFic as I spend way too much time on here. I know it's a bit on the corny side but it'll only be this chp. I promise! It's taken me an incredibly long time to write it and I don't think I could do it any differently. The poem Todd reads out in class are lyrics, I know, but please just image it as a poem. I couldn't find that perfect poem for Todd to write, I'm sorry! But I just couldn't find or write anything that fit. Thanks for all the reviews, Mr. Perry's name is either Tom or Gale according to them, I just made up John at the time because it fit, I didn't realise they told you his name. And so far it looks like Charlie and Meeks are getting together, majority rules. A special shout out to headintheclouds13 who is an official fan girl ;P And Tusk of Thyme who threatened me with physical harm if I didn't write any more... even though she's all the way over in America... Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer- **Oh come on!

P.S The lyrics are from 'Come right out and say it' ditto chp. title

* * *

Neil read out the poem and then there was an awkward silence in which he was still in shock and Todd was anxiously waiting for his opinion. Finally, when Todd couldn't take it any longer, he asked almost impatiently,

"So, what do you think?"

Neil watched Todd bite on his lip nervously but he still couldn't bring himself to say or do anything except get into bed, still dressed, and say goodnight. Todd stared at him for a moment, confused to the point of destruction.

"That's it, that's all you're going to say?!" Todd asked angrily.

"There's nothing else to say." Neil muttered into his pillow, facing the wall so he wouldn't have to see Todd's hurt expression.

"Oh…I see."

Todd said, getting into bed himself. Neil didn't think he did though, not really, but it was better for Todd to think that he didn't know what to say than give him his real answer, at least that's what he thought. That night both boys got only a couple of hours sleep each, Todd too busy wondering what Neil was thinking and Neil too busy wondering how he was going to keep the truth from Todd.

The next day Neil tried to act as if nothing had happened, at first Todd was confused but then he figured that Neil was doing it to spare his feelings. Neil was able to get a few hours of peace in his mind, free from thoughts of Todd, when he went to rehearsals; they were performing again that night.

At the end of the day when they were all 'studying' Charlie sat down next to Neil, with his trademark smirk.

"A lover spat is it?" Neil looked up in fake surprise.

"What are you taking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me Neil, I have eyes you know. You've been tense around Todd all day, and he looks like he's almost crying. I don't think you're any good at comforting fair maidens after all." Neil silently cursed his smirk.

"Nothings wrong, I just didn't get much sleep last night." It was still part of the truth, just not all of it.

"Good one Neil, not. What have you done?" Charlie ended with a sighed and put his feet up on the desk, leaning back on his chair.

"What makes you think it's something I've done?!" He said, trying to avoid the question, Charlie simply rolled his eyes and looked at him as if to say, who do you think I am?

"Because no matter how much confidence Todd has gained since he's come here there is no way he'd make the first move, especially one that would lead to a fight between you two. So what have you done?"

"Nothing! That's the problem, he wrote a poem about me and I did nothing!" He spoke in an angry whisper so no one else could hear.

"He wrote a poem about _you, _and you still didn't do anything?!" For once Charlie was without his smirk and calm composure.

"You don't understand, _he _doesn't understand!" Neil said, getting exasperated.

"What don't I understand?" He asked, taking his feet down, leaning in and lighting a cigarette in an attempt to compose himself. Neil thought about explaining it to him, after all he hadn't seemed disgusted so far.

"Nothing, never mind, I've got to go, the plays on again tonight."

Neil walked out before he could protest or made some smart remark, he decided it was probably best it no one knew, then no one would argue and he wouldn't have anything else to tempt him to just give in and tell Todd how he really felt. He went to Henley Hall, again, with Mr. Keating, he tried to act normal and excited. Keating wasn't fooled but he put it down to nerves about remembering his lines, so he gave him a little pep talk when they got out of the car and started making their way inside.

"Neil, remain calm and remember, Carpe Diem!" He gave a huge smile, a pat on the back, and moved off into the rather large crowd.

Even though Neil was wondering if he had made the right choice after all about the Todd situation, all those thoughts flew out of his head as soon as the curtains went up. Almost anyway, he still looked around in the crowd hoping against all reason that Todd would be there watching him, and felt a pang of sadness and irritation at himself when he didn't see him.

When the play was over and he was going back to Helton with Mr. Keating he finally decided that he had done the right thing, that it was better with the awkward silences between them.

"You did great tonight, again! How did it feel up there?" Keating asked excitedly. Neil was pulled out from his trance and for a few seconds stared at him dumbly before the meaning of his words finally sank in.

"Oh, um, fantastic. Like a Dead Poets meting, but different."

"Brilliant! What wonders words are, whether spoken to a huge crowd of people or in a small Indian cave. Which reminds me, I'm planning on getting everyone next class to write a shortish poem and then read it aloud. I figured that Mr. Anderson could use some extra time to prepare himself so I don't have to drag him up and have him insult our Mr. Whitman again."

"Thanks, I'll tell him…if he'll listen to me_." _He muttered under his breath.

"Great, I'll see you in class then." He said as they pulled up into Helton and scramble out of the car.

Neil waved his goodbye and made his way up to his room, dreading the awkward silence that would await him there. He tried thinking positively though, he had just been given notice of a task they had for next class before everyone else, and he could tell Todd which might lighten the mood a little. The words 'false hope' came to mind. When he got to his room he found Todd still awake and seemed to be reading the '5 Centuries of English Verse' with a sad smile on his face, so engrossed that he didn't even notice Neil walk in.

"Hey Todd." His smile vanished and his body tensed.

"Neil, how was the play?"

"Fine, fine, great in fact. Listen Mr. Keating just told me that he was going to get us to write a poem in class and then read it aloud, he figured you could use some extra time to work through that fear of public speaking you have." He managed a faint laugh that sounded fake to his own ears.

"Oh, well thanks." He gave a small half smile then went back to the book.

Neil let out a frustrated sigh and got ready for bed, knowing he would be too distracted to ever start working on the poem. He watched from his bed as Todd got up, got a pencil and paper, and started working on his poem.

"Night."

He called out in a faint whisper, pulling the plackets up around his ears. He received no reply.

The next day started out just like the last had, with awkward silences and one word conversations, which were all watched closely by Charlie and his all-knowing smirk. In classes Todd paid little to no attention, and Neil did hardly any better, and would have done worse if he hadn't remembered his promise to keep his grades up. The day dragged on in the same fashion until English, were it was impossible to not pay attention and be enthused.

"Alright class, as a little experiment I thought it might be fun if you all spent about fifteen minutes writing a poem and then we can spend the rest of the class reading them allowed!"

There was a mass outpour of groans and moans from almost everyone, apart from Todd who had finished his poem last night and was now just trying to calm himself. He may not have been anywhere near as nervous as the last time, but this time the poem seemed a whole lot more personal.

After fifteen minutes that seemed impossibly short to most of the boys Keating whistled his way up to the front of the classroom from the back were he had been giving someone some help.

"Times up! Who's going to be first?" No one raised their hand or said a word for about a minute when Charlie lazily raised his hand and gave a smirk.

"Mr. Dalton, come on up!"

Most of the class tried to cover up their laughter as Charlie slowly walked to the front of the room, Cameron made some smart remark or other that Charlie didn't hear but he hit him on the back of his head with his book anyway. Charlie's poem, while being brilliant, wasn't original, which was something Keating picked up on immediately.

"As brilliantly as you have been able to read Lord Byron's poem, I am afraid to say that you have once again been an idiot. I asked you to write a poem and then read it aloud!"

"I did Sir; I wrote it out into my boom and read it out just then!" He argued in mock defence while the class roared with laughter.

"Ah, of cause, I should have made myself clearer." He said with a smile. "Ok, who's up next?"

And on it went, with a poem about Chris from Knox, which was expected, and one about a dog in a bog by one of the lazier students, until only Todd was left. He stood up, fumbling with his books, but then spoke clearly and confidently.

"Thought this would turn out so well  
But I'm beginning to see  
That instead it's trouble  
Into a pattern we fell  
Of prolonging the inevitable

Why don't you  
Come right out and say it?  
Even if the words are probably gonna hurt  
I'd rather have the truth  
Than something insincere  
Why don't you  
Come right out and say it, come right out and say it?  
What it is you're thinking  
Though I'm thinking it's not what I wanna hear

And just what it is you're thinking"

The class immediately burst into applause, but the only person Todd was paying any attention to was Neil who sat perfectly still, seeing the meaning in his poem. Todd watched him for a few more minutes before Keating came up and patted him on the back.

"Well done, another triumph I think!"

Todd smiled meekly and went back to his seat with butterflies in his stomach as he waited for the bell to ring so he could confront Neil about what he thought about all of this once and for all. But when the bell did ring and Todd turned to find him, Neil had already fled the room and was currently making his way an hour early to Henley Hall for rehearsals. During rehearsals Neil was distracted and distant, he knew that the poem was meant for him, and so did Charlie if his smirk was anything to go by, and that scared the hell out of him. He tried to stay behind and walk as slowly as he could back to Helton to avoid the inevitable conversation he would have with Todd when he got back. Though he got there about half an hour later than he normally would Todd was still up and was pacing the room anxiously, but he stopped immediately when he saw him.

"Hey."

"Look, I know you don't want to tell me what you think. And you may think your being so kind by not saying anything, but I really need to know. Even if you think it's wrong, _I'm _wrong, please tell me." Todd said, diving right in, not able to wait any longer.

"Like I said before, there's nothing to say."

"That's a load of bull! You have to feel something. It was a poem, you love poems!"

"I can't Todd, it's for the best. You really are better off not knowing."

"How is that possible?! Tell me!"

"I can't!"

"Why?!"

"Why do you want to know?!"

"Because it matters to me, you matter to me!"

"Forget about me!"

"I can't! I've tried to, but I can't." Neil paused, almost giving in.

"Try harder!"

"I don't want to, and I have to know now!"

"You really want to know?! You really want to know that I think about you ever second of the day, even when I'm acting? That I can't get you out of my damn head? That I'm obsessed with you?! Is that really what you want to hear? Do you want us to get together and have people look down at you, tease you, hate you, because of it?! I don't, I wouldn't care if it was just me, but it's you! You don't deserve it. This is why I couldn't say anything."

Neil face was red, his breathing was heavy when he stopped waving his arms about and walking around and stood in front of Todd. There was a silence in which Neil's breathing slowly went back to normal and Todd finally overcame his shock.

"None of that matters to me."

"It matters to me! And how can it not matter, what will your parents say, your friends say?!"

"They'll understand eventually." Neil stared at him with wide eyes.

"No they won't, not all of them anyway!"

"That doesn't matter, I want you."

Todd used that moment when Neil was too shocked to say or do anything, to kiss him. Timidly at first but when Neil slowly started to respond he gained more confidence.

"We'll keep it a secret then." Neil said when they broke apart for air.

"Ok." Todd agreed reluctantly. Secretly was much better than not at all.

* * *

Ok, I've fixed it up and made the changes Tusk of Thyme suggested. Dybdahl, Though I really liked the poem Neil wouldn't be able to tell how Todd felt from it, though I might use it later because it's so groovy. Also the votes are now 3 for Meeks/Charlie and 1 against. I'll give you reasons for and against, for because it would be really groovy for my storyline (sorry, can't give much away), and against because how likely is it really that their is more than one gay couple, at a time, in a school back then and I have read some fics when it just makes the whole school seem gay and crap. Anyway, take this all into consideration and please vote those that haven't, voting more than once probably isn't going to be counted unless the unlikely event of a tie.


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